1. Stuck my bare hand into my cat's used litter box and probed all around searching for pieces of wet litter, which I didn't find.
2. Could not bring myself to use grown-up phrases like "bowel movement" and instead found myself telling the vet, "My cat pooed in his box but peed on the floor."
3. Sniffed each piece of clothing in my dirty laundry pile to see if it smelled dirtier (pissier)than it should have.
4. Offered a sexual favor* in exchange for vet services.
5. Got blasted with a bit of kitty diarrhea when I grabbed Dubs and tried to force him into his carrier for the 3rd time in 2 days. Guess I pressed on the wrong spot.
6. Ran two red lights in Mission Valley because I knew there wasn't a camera at those intersections and there were no cars coming. (# 2954 on my list of why it's ridiculous for cities to buy red light cameras instead of paying police officers.)
7. Held a healing session in my bathroom around the cat and the litter box that involved tranquility candles, waving my hands around, crying a lot, and begging, "Please please please go pee."
* for my boyfriend, not the vet. What kind of girl do you think I am? Wait, don't answer that.
